Thanks and Giving.

I meant to do this Thankgiving post several days ago. However, this break has been a little busier than originally planned. So here it is...

What am I thankful for this holiday season??

• My family--Love them. So much. Some of my hardest laughter has been with these people. They are my constant. My supporters.
• Friends!--This sounds pretty generic, I know. However, I firmly believe God has given me the best and most wonderful friends a girl could ask for. My friend "situation" has changed quite a bit in the past several years. I am soooo grateful for the people God has placed in my life and I firmly believe they are each in my life for a specific reason.
• My students--Without them, I would have no job. There are days when I question my career choice, but those are the days that make me the most thankful. These little human beings make me laugh, scream, want to pull my hair out, and, sometimes, cry. I am thankful for each and everyone of them, and I love them each as I would love my own child.
• House.Food.Clothes.Blahblahblah.--So this ones probably a given right? Yeah it is. It may seem really insignificant but I never want to forget how many people don't have these basic life needs. It sort of breaks my heart when I think about it. I never want to take it for granted.
• My future---It's pretty unknown at this point. That's why I'm thankful for it. I am really learning to be OK with unexpected/unknown things. The future is so mysterious and wonderful and beautiful. All I can say is I'm very excited to see where and who I will be in the next 10 years.
• A Heavenly Father--This is the "good girl" churchy answer, isn't it? And 5 years ago, that's all it would have been. It would have been the answer that I was supposed to say. The answer that everyone expected me to say. It had no real depth or meaning. Now, it does. I am so thankful that I don't have to get through this life all alone. I don't have to worry about what's going to happen tomorrow or next year. There's someone that does all that for me. And for that I am the MOST thankful.

the end.

D-Day

This might possibly be my 486th post about dieting/food/body image issues. And I always say this is THE LAST TIME. Yep. Always. I have gained and lost the same 15 or so pounds about 3 times now. This is probably one of the most frustrating things a person can experience. There is no one to blame but myself. Me, myself, and my mouth. I think about this and it just makes me extremely angry. I am so disappointed in myself. I am happy with who I am as a person. There is just this one thing that I can't seem to get beyond. I am facing the issue once again. Once again, I am back to that "diet" mindset. I just need to stop making excuses and get over it. Give myself a little tough love. It's not about being a certain size. It's about being confident and comfortable in my own skin. This is the skin God gave me to live in...I need to take care of it.

So today is what I like to call "D-Day," or diet day. This is the day when the diet mindset commences once again for me. Back on the healthy train. Back on the working-out-at-6am train. Back on the eating-3-apples-a-day train. Back on the being-attached-to-my-scale train. Such joys of losing weight. You would think that after so many times of doing this over and over again, I would have it all figured out. Well...I'm getting there! Hopefully, I will have some epiphany and that huge light bulb above my head with suddenly turn itself on. Until that happens, here we go! AGAIN.

Never a Dull Moment.

It has been another rough week for the Whitey. More so because of personal issues that I'm working through (and being quite emotional about it I might add). There have been times this week when I thought a smile would never come. However, in my line of work there is never a dull moment. I am dying to share this little gem from the magical land of first grade:

We had just come in from recess and all the kids were being hooligans (as usual) in the hallway. Loud and obnoxious behavior mostly. I was talking to a couple of other teachers, mostly trying to ignore the 60 first graders around me. I looked over and there, sitting on the floor of the hallway, was one of my little darlings. One of my darlings who never sits still. I mean NEVER. He was sitting there amidst all the ruckus, in a perfect "criss cross applesauce" position, with his thumbs together and his eyes closed in a perfect OHMMMM meditation stance. I thought I was going to DIE. I could not control my laughter. We even took a picture of it.

So there. Laughter is possible amongst the tears. :)

I promise a more uplifting post next time!

(Non) Voter Guilt.

Update: Blood test came back NORMAL! That means I don't have to take tons of pills for the rest of my life. And that, my friends, is GREAT news.

Now, on with other things...

Today is election day. I like to think of myself as an informed voter. A person who typically cares about the state of our country and who is running it. This time around, this election, I was not that person. For some reason, this election completely slipped my mind (probably because of the 1,257 other things that are constantly running around in there). This weekend I realized that I did not have an ever loving clue who the candidates and issues were. Sure...I've seen and heard all the political ads for the last few months. They just didn't spark any interest or thought within me. They didn't motivate me to go out and research the topics and candidates for myself. For the first time since I have had the civil right (and responsibility) to vote, I just didn't care. So shoot me.

And now, I feel bad about it. I feel guilty for not caring and for not voting. But I was thinking about something and I will leave you with this question...

What is worse: An uneducated, biased vote or no vote at all?