Smells like Autumn.

Today is the first day it actually feels like Autumn outside! Yay! Fall is my hands-down, without a doubt favorite time of the year, specifically the month of October, which starts in 5 days. Apples, pumpkins, pretty leaves, hooded sweatshirts, hot tea. Mmmmhmmmm.

Now on to something I never thought I would say: I am going for a run. I use to HATE running. Like run-the-mile-in-sixth-grade-and-cry-about-it kind of hate running. Now I can say I ran/walked a 5K in July. I an preparing to run/walk a 5K in the end of October and hopefully, I will run my first full 5K on Thanksgiving in the famous Springfield Turkey Trot. With the weather being cooler now, it helps with the motivation to lace up those shoes and go hit the pavement. I honestly wouldn't have stuck with this running thing if there wasn't someone doing it with me. Everything is always easier with a partner in crime. She keeps me going when my legs are about to give out beneath me. Maybe you are asking, "Whitney, why do you all of a sudden like to run?" Let me answer that question...I don't know! Ha. I think it has something to do with the progress of it. I also think it has something to do with the fact that the pounding of my shoes on the pavement helps me pound some thoughts out of my head. I am a thinker (and a worrier). Running gives me time to sort through all these thoughts running through my head (pun intended, by the way). So in TWO months I will be running 3.1 miles. My body. My feet. My legs...with a little help and strength and faith in my God. I'm excited to prove to myself that I can do it! Hopefully, I won't look like Homer. :)

Worry Wart.

Here's something that's been consuming my thoughts in the recent days: WORRY.

I am a worry wart. If you've ever wondered what a worry wart is like (say THAT 5 times fast...GO!), meet Whitney. I worry about what I'm going to wear for work tomorrow. I worry what I might say to a parent about their child that might offend them. I worry if that brownie I ate is going to equal the last hole on my belt. I worry about everything. Literally.

My first year of college was also consumed with worry and anxiety. It was bad. I didn't sleep but maybe a few hours a night for nights in a row because I had such anxiety about school and tests and work and making it balance. It was a new chapter in my life and I was realizing that this new anxiety ridden way of life was not going to work for long. This is when I discovered Phillipians 4:6-7. "Do not worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel." When I first read that, I can remember feeling that peace it talks about. It's so comforting to know that God will take on all your worries for you. I got a lot of mileage and prayer out of those two verses, and I thought I had combated the worry/anxiety issue.

Fast Forward 5ish years to NOW. Recently, I have discovered that worry is continuing to bury itself in many aspects of my life. It is such an ugly creature to me because I could be spending the time I worry doing something much more pleasing and honorable to God. A conversation with a friend sort of inspired me to revisit this issue and I stumbled across these verses in Luke 12.

²²Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. ²³Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. ²⁴Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ²⁶Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? ²⁷"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ²⁸If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! ²⁹And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. ³⁰For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. ³¹But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

OK. That was a lot. I know. There is some really good stuff in there though. The main thing I am taking away from all of this is my lack of faith! I never considered worry to be a faith issue...but Jesus doesn't beat around any bushes. He just says it, "You of little faith!" Whoa. Me? Little faith? That's an eye opener. So after all that soaked in to my little brain, I decided that I don't have to be a worry wart. It's a choice I am making. Why am I wasting my time? Jesus even says worry is not going to add any minutes to my life. What's the point? I can choose to make my life so much easier if I just give all my anxiety and worry up for God to take care of. He can handle it. I just have to trust Him and have faith in Him. There is more I can say but I will save that for Part Dos.

Goodnight.